Sunday, May 8, 2011

Addiction: Relapse and Rededication

Ok, it's been over a year since I have blogged. That should be my first clue. No lie, 2010 kicked my butt. If I ever had any doubt that my weight problems are a result of addiction, I have no doubt now. I started a downward spiral with my last blog post. Several things contributed--frustration that the weight wasn't coming off, a couple of visits with Dr. Mary Vernon (who is brilliant by the way) and finding out I was metabolically fit (which should have made me feel better, but instead depressed me greatly as I was looking for a miracle way to get to goal), and my daughter got married, which although a great thing was financially stressful.

So, what did I do? Well, when we went to Vegas for the wedding I decided to "take a week off". This led to a six month carb binge and a 50 some lb gain. Since January 2011 it's been 2 weeks on, 3 weeks off, etc. I, like addicts everywhere, relapsed. I knew it and was powerless to stop it, or so it seemed.

Fast forward to last week. I was dreading so much seeing everyone on the 2011 Low Carb Cruise because I felt like a complete failure. But...I needed to face the music, so I did. It was painful, true. But the support I got from my friends was tremendous. I got back last night and I am committed to rededicating myself to low carb. I feel better when doing low carb, pure and simple. I know it works and I'll be darned if I'm going to allow myself to relapse back to 336 lbs.

I am going the way of the Swedes. Let's see if the extra fat can keep the binge monster away.

So, I'll be blogging...not for anyone but myself.

Today's menu:

2 scrambled eggs in butter (1 carb)
1/4 cup LC hot cereal with butter (0 carbs)

double Cheeseburger with tomato, pickle, onion, mayo and cheese (5 carbs)

egg drop soup with butter (1 carb)

good day so far...

Wish me luck and if you are a prayer, please pray for God to give me strength.

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean Kim. I had the same problem last year. 2010 was a rough one and I didn't handle it well. I'm working re-gain off too. We can do it! I'm here to cheer you on anytime you need me. Sending you prayers and hugs! (I saw photos from the cruise... you are still beautiful and don't ever forget it!)